Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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