Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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