So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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