trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
