Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
