what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I look better un-naked...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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