omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
