i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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