So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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