..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
