how can u be prego again
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I have aggressive nipples.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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