I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
