Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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