he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
