So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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