We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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