Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
mondays should just be called national damage control day
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
