Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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