he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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