He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
