i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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