you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
