Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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