so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
