you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
