I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you will always have a special place in my vag
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize