Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
