I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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