i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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