PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
