Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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