Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
