The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
