your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
