i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
