question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Someone signed my nipple.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
