Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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