is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We were destined to go to rehab together
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
