Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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