went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
