I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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