I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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