OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
