ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
