how hairy? two words: wookie tits
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
