I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
