Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We had to coat check the pizza.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize