So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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