After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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