they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
