After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Randomize