im about as happy as oj after his trial
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
