Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
