What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
