She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
