I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
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